| Overcoming Tragedy
I grew up with a lot of household
nudity and discreet skinny-dipping. I feel very positive about
that aspect of my upbringing. It may be more instructive
though to consider the case of nudists who have endured
tragedy and yet remain nudist.
I have a friend who grew up as a nudist
and was sexually abused by a relative. To this day she does
not blame nudism, but puts it squarely on the shoulders of the
relative. She got counseling to help her overcome the pain.
She has taught body freedom to her children.
I have another friend who was raped in
a home invasion (by a textile). It was awful and she had a lot
of fear, sorrow and pain to work through. She did say that
her nudism has helped her avoid the negative self-image
problems that often occur in the aftermath of sexual
violation. She has a kindly wonderful boyfriend, a sweet
daughter and I see them often at the nudist resort. I think
they are going to be okay.
At my favorite resort, parents and
their friends keep children under close supervision. Nudism is
great, and the resort is full of friendly people having a good
time, but the parents' peace of mind comes from personally
keeping tabs on their children, just as it does in the textile
world.
Nothing I said is scientific, just one
person's comments, but that doesn't invalidate what I said. It
is life experience and I base a lot of my actions on what I
have learned from life.
- Mark
Intimacy of the best kind
Nudity or intimacy; say those two words
together or separately and you find that most will assume sex.
But that isn't the case. I was raised in a home that was ok to
be seen in your underwear but not nude. At night my mom would
check us before she would go to sleep herself and would have
to redress me into my pajamas. By the time I was 10 years
old... she insisted that my bedroom door be closed and that
when I appeared on the other side I was to be fully clothed
including a trip to the bathroom.
Where I discovered that it was ok to be
nude was at a friends home where the family and guests were
given a option to be clothed or not. The first few times that
I hung out with Richard, it was always like every other
family. The first time we actually went nude was in his
basement which was set up as his playroom. (He was 12 1/2 and
I was 10). I arrived at his house and his mother answered the
door in a bathrobe. Nothing unusual since I it was early in
the day and my mom was still in her pj's and bathrobe. My
surprise was Richard was nude and acted like nothing was
different. After a while his mom bought some breakfast rolls
and milk downstairs and Richard and I were talking and playing
this board game (life before Pong) and he didn't flinch nor
cover up. He invited me to disrobe if I wanted too and since I
always liked being naked, I thought about it but was worried
about being caught. But I warmed up to it, the basement was
comfortably warm and I was eager to be nude like he was. His
mom again came down stairs again, clothed this time, and
announced that she was going grocery shopping and to behave. I
about crawled under the area rug that we were sitting on....
she told me to relax, it was ok and that our family are
nudists. So she left and I asked Richard what it meant to be
nudist. Well after hearing about it... I was more and more
"ok" with it.
As time went on, we would play in the
back yard nude and sometimes either a cousin of his or other
friends would come over. Eventually I did see Richard's mother
and father interact with him and us in the nude. I was invited
over for a sleep over since his parents were hosting a pot
luck party with other nudist families and there were boys AND
girls running and playing the house, the back yard and the
basement all in the nude. The youngest was a toddler and the
oldest was a boy about 14 or 15. I knew then this was for
me.
Richard was very intimate with me… That
is we talked about real life. No sex involved. We would horse
around, wrestle, play games, watch TV, do homework, build
models, but best of all, tell each other secrets. As I grew up
I discovered that when I was nude with friends, and the facade
of clothing was removed, true intimacy occurs. You get to meet
and spend time with real people. You can discuss not only the
weather and politics, but real life issues and friendships are
more genuine then with textile-challenged people. The intimacy
of parent to child is also incredible. When one of my sons was
13 years old, he had to be reminded about putting clothes on
to go out the front door. His wife complains that he is still
much the same way now.
Intimacy is sexual? Well yes, that is
why it is called Sexual Intimacy. Personal intimacy, family
intimacy, intimacy among your children, intimacy with your
parents... is NOT sexual and Nudity isn’t always sexual
either. My wish and my prayer is that the perverted belief
system be quashed. Perversion as stated in this web site is
crossing the boundaries.
Thanks for this opportunity to share
how I overcame my shame and guilt with the full acceptance and
discovery of non-sexual nudity and intimacy. BTW - Richard's
parents are gone now, I surely miss the conversations and
visit's I've had with them as a boy and as a young man and
most of the time au natural. They were fine people and taught
me well about nudism, lack of shame and guilt, and modeled
intimacy in the healthiest form.
- Eddie
Note: From his post, I wasn't sure
if Richard's parents where open about their nudity with
Eddie's parents, it sounded to me like Eddie spent time nude
at his friends house without his parents ever knowing about
it, I think that's a very bad idea, especially
today. While there has always been sexual abuse,
Eddie was a boy in a simpler time when there was less media
attention about sexual abuse, and thus less fear of it. If you
or your kids are going to spend any time nude around other
parents kids their parents absolutely need to know about it
and approve it FIRST! So I emailed him and got this
back...
"I called and asked my mom just now
since I don't ever recall my telling her or asking her
permission other then "can I go to Richard's?" Richard's mom
actually DID call my mom and invited mom over for coffee and a
chat. While she was clothed, she did give my mom the grand
tour of the house (typical 3 bedroom 2 bath family home) and
explained why naturism (actually my mom used naked and nude)
and the who's and when's were addressed. Although my mom
didn't have an interest, she felt it was ok with me going as
long as I was ok. We never talked about my nudity at home
except to close my bedroom door when I am in there and
regardless of the hour, always be dressed on the outside of
the door. But I was free to do what I wanted at
Richard's."
I was very glad to hear this, it seems to me that
Richard's mom handled it perfectly and other parents could
follow her example. This post shows that openness about nudity
can expand opportunities for nudity with others where you
live, not just at some club or beach miles from home. Not only
that but openness about nudity can help others develop
healthier attitudes about the human body. Eddie also
said...
"I'd like to add, I frequent Red, White
& Blue Beach near Santa Cruz. There is camping and a very
private beach. With people of all kinds - short tall fat thin
old and young and very young. I think it is so cool that while
adults are playing volleyball ( usually a pick up game) not
too far away are some kids building the typical san castle
some nude and some in swim ware. Yet these kids approach their
parents who are au- naturale so naturally... I enjoy the
comfort that I witness between parent and child. Such as it
was with my boys when they were younger."
For more on this issue see the
Daily
Living or
Shame, Children,
and Abuse pages on this
site.
No unhealthy curiosity
We've been born-again Christians since
before our marriage, and faithful church attendees.
However, we rejected the usual church shame-message of not
letting our kids see us nude and always treated the naked body
as perfectly natural. When we went camping, we most
often skinny-dipped together. When the kids were small
(two boys and a girl), we group-showered on Sunday morning to
save time. It also provided us an opportunity to answer
the occasional, "Why are Mommy and I, (or Daddy and I)
different?" questions. What better way to approach the
"facts of life" could there be?
I certainly do feel that an open-minded
attitude towards simple nudity has contributed to less body
shame for our kids and helped them adjust to our embracing
nudism later on. Each has his or her "take" on sexual
morality, and has made his or her share of mistakes.
Yet, each has maintained a strong, consistent testimony
throughout each of their lives. No doubt, a more
nudist-oriented approach would have been of more
benefit. However, none of our kids seemed to harbor
undue, unhealthy curiosity about the body, since they saw us
nude while growing up. We praise the Lord for His
leading in avoiding undue emphasis on body-phobias.
- Tom
Change of Attitude
Recently my husband and I had moved to
a new state along with our 10 year old son and 7 year old
daughter. My son immediately became friends with a
neighbor boy his age and we were invited over to swim in their
backyard pool by his mom, Barbara.
I was a bit surprised when Barbara
mentioned that her son usually skinny-dipped in the pool and
that my son was welcome to do the same. I looked at my
son Pete and did not expect him to be interested in swimming
nude, especially in front of me and his sister, but he begged
for permission and reluctantly so, I allowed him to do
so.
After seeing how much fun he was having
a few minutes later, I realized that my hang-ups about nudity
were unfounded. My husband and I are now reviewing our
old attitudes further.
- Sue
Childhood body shame is gone!
I have always enjoyed being nude for as
long as I can remember, but only when I was alone or with a
brother. However, with everyone else I was extremely shy about
being seen nude. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact
that my dad didn't think a boy needed underwear until he
reached puberty. He bought me my first underwear at age 13. I
was extremely embarrassed to undress in front of other boys in
gym class because of being the only boy without underwear. I
think it was that more than actually the fear of being seen
nude.
Now I never wear underwear. I continue
to enjoy being nude indoors and out whenever possible. I'm
always nude at home, but didn't even try social nudity until
age 55. The nudist photos in the INA Web site gave me
the courage to try.
I went to a nudist resort in May when
it was warm enough (this is in Michigan), parked my car,
undressed at the car, and thought to myself, "Well, here
goes." I very self-consciously walked out to the pool area
prepared to be laughed at. No one even seemed to notice me. I
was made to feel as though I belonged there! Once I got over
my initial embarrassment, I’ve been hooked ever since.
Though I had enjoyed being nude all my
life, there was something different about this! The difference
was that I was nude with other men, women and children, and I
found that my fear of being seen nude had been a senseless
lifetime fear. I found that there was no need for my
fear of being seen nude. I love being nude and hate wearing
clothes. I just wish I had gotten into it decades ago. The
fear is gone though there is still a little self-consciousness
left, but I expect that to disappear eventually
also.
- Jonathan
Well-being
I remember when I discovered how good I
feel without any stupid clothes on, I did it alone, in my
apartment, and didn't even think about sharing my experience
with classmates, my older brother or parents. I felt myself
weird, but now I can see the tragedy of the fear instilled
into every child by the society, destroys happiness and the
feeling of well-being with which every child is born.
:-(
- Rouslan
Facing Peer Pressure
We're born without clothes and
throughout our lives we have to be naked, albeit alone most of
the time, so what harm can there be in knowing our own bodies
and being more aware of it.
The greater harm is raising children to
think that they must be covered at all times. This imprints on
a kid that the human body isn't a good thing and that it must
be hidden all the time. I'm of
the opinion that this attitude is exactly what
drives kids to experiment as they get older.
If they're comfortable with their
bodies there is nothing mysterious that they need to find out
about. They are very aware of what is right and what is wrong
when it comes to their bodies. And I think it helps reduce the
peer pressure they face every day at school and
elsewhere.
- Dave
Overcoming Shyness
As a child I had problems with
communicating to people. One of the problems was that I was
very shy and felt very vulnerable. When I was ten or eleven
years old, I was introduced to naturism by a friend and his
family. After a few minutes being naked, I began losing my
shyness. After being a few times naked in public, I was cured
of being shy and feeling vulnerable, probably because of the
nakedness (vulnerability) of the other people.
- L B
Insecurities
I lost a drastic 250 lbs in a year after a surgery, I was
proud of my weight loss, but ashamed because of the hanging
fat from my ribs to my pubic area that nagged at me, cuz it
wasn’t "perfect yet"...So, at the first couple nudist resorts
I went to I wore a short gauzy sarong around my waist. I
felt ok. I never realized all of my comparing was just
my own making. No one judged me. In fact I have
felt really horrible and insecure over this winter and I just
realized it at a recent hot springs visit that what I was
missing was being naked, cuz it made me feel better about
myself and being accepted...I still have a weight hang-ups
about my fat, but its my problem in my head.
Participating in this way of life has made me realize that I
can be happy with myself.
- K
A Sons Example
My wife and I became more comfortable with our bodies
through our son. A few years ago we moved into a new
house that was fortunate enough to have a small pool.
When we first moved in Timmy would get up, take off his
pajamas and put on his Swim suit then go for a swim.
When he finished swimming he would take off his wet suit and
remain nude until he'd had his breakfast and a shower.
One morning though his suit was in the washing machine and
he had already removed his pajamas, so Linda suggested that he
swim just as he was. After a few moment's thought he
decided to go for it. We watched as he splashed
around and I made a comment about how good it would be to be
his age again and be able to run around nude at home without
feeling we were doing anything wrong. It was just a
throwaway comment that I thought no more about for a few
days.
The next morning Timmy came downstairs and took off his
pajamas. I handed him his swim suit but he said he
didn't need it, once again he played in the pool completely
naked. After a week of skinny-dipping the suit was
long forgotten and we noticed that Timmy was spending a lot of
time naked, even out of the pool. It didn't bother us,
because it was very innocent and he knew to dress if we had
visitors in.
One evening a few days later I arrived home from work to
find one of Linda's friends had dropped by for a visit.
I was surprised to find that her young son and mine were both
swimming as naked as the day they were born. I was
really surprised that Timmy was so comfortable being naked in
front of my wife's friend and her son. I have to confess
I was envious of the freedom he seemed to enjoy. My own
parents would never have approved of me spending any time
naked as a child.
I decided to bring up the subject with Linda one night and
after talking about it we put the idea to Timmy, telling him
that we would like to skinny-dip too - and he seemed to like
the idea. When Linda and I first joined him he froze
when he saw us - but once he saw us and saw that we just
wanted to have the same kind of fun he did he returned to his
normal self. Since then Linda and I have been far
less self-conscious. We don't spend all day nude but we
swim and sleep nude (as does Timmy) and don't cover ourselves
between the bedroom and the bathroom etc.
Timmy, on the other hand is naked for every free moment and
enjoying his youthful innocence to the full. I enjoy
seeing that he is so comfortable with his body and his
self-image.
- Bill
Freedom
To me, being a nudist is about freedom. It's how I
express myself and show others that I am not ashamed of my
body. It's quite a relieving and freeing
experience. After I got over the initial jitters, I
found myself being a little more self confident. The
nudist experience has lifted my self esteem to the point where
I am not inhibited in any situation.
- Dave
Liberating Myself
I lived with my grandparents while I was 6 years old. Upon
returning home, it became painfully obvious that they had
instilled a colossal sense of shame in me; not only regarding
my body, but against the positive social values I received
from my parents. Even at the age of 7, I recognized that
my self-image had suffered, but I could scarcely do anything
about it. By the time I was in high-school I was
determined to liberate myself from the lingering brain-washing
concerning nakedness I knew I still harbored; and, slowly I
was able undress in a same-sex locker room, and later to take
a shower in the company of others. It has been an
arduous journey, but I feel that I have finally voided myself
of the last influences of the nudity-equals-sex "rules" I
reasoned to be irrational two decades ago. I'm nearing
30, and I have not only regained the courage and
self-confidence I once had as a 5-year-old, but I have finally
committed myself to publicly joining the Naturist cause!
My wife and I have become members of the Federation of Canadian
Naturists. We're looking forward to attending local
naturist events, and raising our children shame-free!"
- TJR, Canada
A Family Meeting
We have a 16 year old son and 15 year old daughter. When my
son was 13 he began showing a highly increased
curiosity about sex and the body. My wife and I had
previously frequented a nude beach within 2 hours drive of our
house and decided that it would be a good idea to take him
there, at least once, to see how he reacted.
We had a family meeting and discussed the human body in
advance of the trip. We had frequently told our kids that the
human body was not dirty, and that God had not made
any dirty parts. The direction of the
conversation led to the question of why did we, as their
parents, always close our doors while changing clothes and
taking showers. That question impressed me given that it
had come from a 13-year-old.
I had no good answers! Than, all 4 of us
agreed that since the body wasn't "dirty" or "sinful" that we
would no longer be ashamed in front of each other. We also
agreed that we would all visit the beach together the first
Saturday we could. At that point, still at the kitchen table,
we agreed that we would undress in front of each other, to
allow everyone to get past their uneasiness—we, as parents,
were also uneasy undressing in front of the kids. As
expected, my son's eyes kept wandering to his mother's
body. She was a little uncomfortable, but after a short
while, it felt very normal to us. My daughter's body had
already begun developing at that time; and, she reacted very
casually to her brother and myself being nude.
3 years later, both our children have very healthy
attitudes towards sex and the nude body. My son doesn't feel
the need to "sneak" peeks at nudity in movies, or to "borrow"
Playboy or Penthouse magazines from kids at school. My
daughter still has no problem leaving her door open to change,
or calling me into the bathroom to talk with me while she
bathes or showers. Both kids have remained virgin and proud of
it! Not nearly as proud, however, as their mom and dad
are of them! Since that time, both children have felt
comfortable coming to either of us with questions about
sex.
The nudity part has now become simply "normal" for us, and
my son doesn't even take a second glance at his sister or
mother when he sees them unclothed. My two kids get
along great together, and have many friends in common at their
high school. They are close in age and close at heart.
People mention how well they get along as opposed to other
siblings that continually argue and fight with each
other. My youngsters have their moments too, but that is
normal.
- Parents, CA.
Prideful Shame?
“Religious” opposition to social nudity stems not from
sound Biblical exegesis but from pride. This pride is
made of the idea that we should be more than our bodies make
us. Really, most of us look better clothed than naked; I
know I do, and I am not an ugly person. Dressed in nice
fitting jeans and a crisp golf shirt, I can present a smart
appearance that my nudity could never do. But is that
the real me? Or am I just ashamed of my mere
humanity? The real me is profoundly human, with lines
carved by the creator. My clothing subconsciously
communicates the message that I do not wish to reveal myself,
but rather a false me. The real me is muscular, male,
hairy, and light skinned. Yet this masculine exterior is
portrayed through skin soft and vulnerable. Through our
clothing we project ourselves in a way that makes us look
larger than life. To strip off the coverings scares us,
not because we could be too attractive to resist (as the
common argument goes) but because we will be found merely
ordinary. In a suit, with shoulder pads and clever
tailoring, I am like the wizard of oz in that I am but a
shadow of who I appear to be. Walk up to me on the beach
and you will find that Gods glory is being revealed in my
nakedness, from my toes to my groin, to my head. No
right thinking person could ever lust at something like
this.
One of my favorite aspects of mixed nudity is that girls
and boys, men and women can socialize together in the highest
way. No right thinking woman would put herself in a
compromising position by allowing herself to be susceptible to
molestation. However, when there is the presence of
trust and honorable intention by all, women are able to fill
that deep need to be transparent with men in a truly holy
way. So contrary to the argument that says men and women
could never be naked together, there are times when it is not
only possible, but very necessary. Young women,
typically considered to be the most attractive and vulnerable
segment of the population, need have the opportunity to get
out of their shell in just this kind of environment because
they tend to be set upon a pedestal. Equally, the rest
of the population needs to see them in their splendor.
Organized nudism has the potential to provide the kind of
environment to facilitate this kind of interaction.
- Gen225
Child's Sense of Security
I think there may be a link between naturism and better
school performance; but, without proper research it would be
impossible to confirm. We can only speak for our son
Adam. He is shy by nature and under-performed in his
early years at school. After he began to play naked at
home—possibly by coincidence—we noticed he was getting better
reports from school and that his overall attitude toward study
had improved. Karen and I discussed this at some
length. There were other factors that we had to
consider, of course; in particular a recent move,
although this had not involved a change of school for
Adam. The most obvious change in his daily life
was that he no longer wore clothes very often. Karen and
I both felt that his voluntary nakedness reflected a sense of
security. After all, a child can be most vulnerable
while naked. We never asked Adam to undress when coming
home from school. Usually, he just goes up to his room
and comes down naked. We feel this shows he feels
completely safe and comfortable within our home
environment. Perhaps his sense of security has allowed
him to take a more proactive approach toward school
work? I'm not saying this is the answer for all
underachievers, but I'm convinced naturism has benefited Adam
at school—I'm still trying to figure out why it has done so.
- Sean & Karen, England
U.S. and German Attitudes
In Germany, adults changed their children’s clothing on the
beach without any disapproval by others. When we visited
a public beach in the United States for the first time, we
were very amazed that it was forbidden to change children’s
clothes on the beach. Even small babies had to run
around in bathing suits. Because of this, our three year
old caught a severe case of bronchitis; and, in spite of
doctor’s care had a hard time getting rid of it. One
year of nudism brought about a complete cure. We all got
rid of annoying the colds that come from climatic
changes. Also, we got to know wonderful people and felt
accepted into a large family. If one says that the
nudists corrupted our boys and girls, I can only say: ‘I have
never seen boys and girls of all ages get along so well
together than in a nudist camp. Here no teenagers lie
under a blanket and kiss each other as can be observed on a
public beach.’ We only hope that more people in America
will accept our point of view.
- Father in AR
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